Roots

I am thankful for blessings each and every day in each and every thing. 

There are people all over the world that are hungry, lonely, abused, alone, oppressed, perhaps covered in flies and too weak to move. Some are sleeping without dwellings in the crisp air that I sense through my window. The only thing separating us? Where I was born. Circumstance. Much beyond any one person's control.

I am so so so blessed, more and more every day. And I pray and I vow that I will never forget - nay, never take for granted - where I come from, where I could have been, and how fortunate I am now.

My day is incomplete without a nice, long, hot shower.  I once took cold showers for a year.

My pantry and stomach are both full, though I remember a time that a pack of hotdogs, a box of ramen, and a $0.97 loaf of nutrient-free bread was groceries...for two weeks.

If my gas tank is ever close to empty, it's likely due to laziness or lack of attention. I remember a time my gas gauge never saw halfway and I'll never forget the first time I drove to work for a week on fumes. Or the first time I filled up with a check a day (or two) before payday, praying my paycheck made it to the bank before that check did.

I hire and fire people, but I remember being that person calling week after week. And even though I knew they were probably tired of hearing from me, the roof over my head depended on the result of my job hunt.

I am blessed with a washer and dryer and a week's worth of clothes or more, when I remember owning two pairs of pants and no means to wash them besides the (cold) shower because the bathroom sink was broke.

I am blessed with four or five jackets when I used to rely on the sweater I found. I just bought inserts for my shoes since my feet often hurt. I remember when I couldn't afford shoes at all.

When I need things, I go and I get them. Once and only once I stole a roll of toilet paper from a public restroom because I didn't have $0.97 to buy it myself. Because then I'd have to put my loaf of bread back.

I am blessed with brethren and friends and family and people who care, when once we had nobody.

Once I had nothing and now I have more than enough and enough to share.

I can't change where I've been, nor would I even if I could. Those times taught me faith. Those experiences allow me to be perfectly happy with what I have in a world full of complainers. What I've experienced taught me humility, compassion, gratitude, joy, appreciation, love. It taught me to HALALUYAH.

Esteem

Wayside

"Wayside"
Original Lyrics by Shannon Powell

I don't care to be first
As long as I'm invited
I desire that you could bear me
A little in my folly
I crave the undivided
I owe to take my staff
You gave me bread
When the world looked away
You reached out and led
Me home

HalaluYah! I'm not on stony ground
I'll volunteer to chase the birds off
If another could be found
You may not see my scars
But I'm not afraid of thorns
HalaluYah!! Reborn
I survived to join the bride
But my heart goes out to the way side

I see mean
I see ugly
Criminals and bandits
I can't stand it
I judge the way the world taught me
Bear with me
Folly
That was me

HalaluYah! I'm not on stony ground
I'll volunteer to chase the birds off
If another could be found
You may not see my scars
But I'm not afraid of thorns
HalaluYah!! Reborn
I survived to join the bride
But my heart goes out to the way side

When I was wicked
My heart still broke the same
Lost or found
You never change
Take me anywhere
I don't care
My root is you
You are truth
My prayer
For the way side

HalaluYah! I'm not on stony grounds
I'll volunteer to chase the birds off
If another could be found
You may not see my scars
But I'm not afraid of thorns
HalaluYah!! Reborn
I survived to join the bride
But my heart goes out to the way side

I Hope the Evil Spirits Leave You Alone on The Anniversary of Your Day of Birth!!

"I Hope the Evil Spirits Leave You Alone on The Anniversary of Your Day of Birth!!"

...Whew!  That was a long one!!  If you're wondering where it came from, let me present you with the abbreviated form..."Happy Birthday!!"  I've recently discovered the not so kosher origins of Xmas, Valentine's Day, the word "church"...it only made sense that I would research birthdays next?  (And I'm sure boredom or the Ruach (preferably) will lead me to portray a synopsis of the aforementioned in due time.)

So let's start with the examples that Scripture has given us...

1. The actual dates of birth are not recorded for ANYONE IN THE BIBLE.
2.  No where does the Bible instruct us not to celebrate birthdays...

"A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one's birth."  - Ecclesiastes 7:1

...but we aren't exactly instructed to celebrate, either...

"And it came to pass the third day, Pharaoh's birthday, that he made a feast unto all his servants:  and he lifted up the head of the chief butler and of the chief baker among his servants.  And he restored the chief butler unto his butlership again; and he gave the cup into Pharaoh's hand:  But he hanged the chief baker:  as Joseph had interpreted to them."  - Genesis 40:20-22

...one man freed, one man slain, go on...

"But when Herod's birthday was kept, the daughter of Herodias danced before them, and pleased Herod.  Whereupon he promised with an oath to give her whatsoever she would ask.  And she, being before instructed of her mother, said, Give me here John the Baptist's head in a platter.  And the king was sorry:  nevertheless, for the oath's sake, and them which sat with him at meat, he commanded to be given.  And he sent, and beheaded John in the prison."  -Matthew 14:6-10

...getting worse...

"And his sons feasted houses, every one his day; and send and called for their three sisters to eat and to drink with them.  And it was so, when the days of feasting were gone about, that Job sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings to the number of them all:  for Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed Elohim in their hearts. Thus did Job continually."  - Job 1:4-5

...this is the last POTENTIAL example of birthdays that I was able to find in scripture.  It does not specify why Job's sons were feasting, but "every one his day" kinda makes it sound birthday-esque.  Job did not think their feasts were righteous and made offerings for them.  Coincidentally, all of his sons died later in the book, but since just about anyone who knew Job died in the book, I'm not really using that as weight in this specific argument.

"Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night it was said, There is a man child conceived." - Job 3:3

"Cursed the day wherein I was born:  let not the day wherein my mother bare me be blessed."  - Jeremiah 20:14

...While I was unable to find any verses praising a day of birth (aside from the birth of Christ, but that cannot be used in this argument because he was also a KING which leads to the discussion of other traditions and customs far from this one), Jeremiah and Job both cursed the days they were born.

Now let's look at some different facts about birthdays:

-It was difficult for people to celebrate birthdays in ancient times because there was not a calendar with which they could track dates from year to year.  With the emergence of said calendar, birthdays, astrology (Isaiah 47:13 warns against), and horoscopes (Leviticus 20:6 warns against) were born almost immediately.

-The first birthdays celebrated were those of Pagan gods, kings, and deitized kings (apollo, artemis, zeus, Pharaoh, Herod, Nimrod).

-Early Christian (a made up word, btw but that is also an a discussion for another day) theologists condemned birthdays in the 1st and 2nd centuries A.D. both because of the custom's pagan heritage and because it promoted self-indulgence, self-promotion, and the lifting up of a person rather than Yah.

- It was not until Romans and Greeks began integrating into the Catholic church that they became acceptable customs (Interestingly enough, this is also how the Sabbath got changed to Sunday and we began celebrating Xmas, Easter, and Halloween).

-The birthday cake was originally round in honor of the sun/moon and/or Artemis/Apollo (Pagan deities).

-Not only did candles further make the cake resemble the sun and moon, but they were believed to carry prayers (origin of the birthday wish) to the heavens and to the gods.

-People believed that you were more susceptible to interventions of evil spirits on your birthday and it was believed that cheer was the best deterrent.  So they would gather around the birthday boy/girl (origin of the birthday party), give them gifts to make them happier (origin of the gift giving), and wish them cheer (Happy Birthday!!) all in the name of fighting off said evil spirits.

SOOOO...In conclusion:

I could probably provide a valid argument against the celebration of birthdays, whereas it's more difficult to argue for them.  Though it is not condemned scripturally nor does it come from a specific deity-celebration (see: Lupercalia, i.e. Valentine's Day) nor is it a celebration unto Yah (which leads us back to the question, should it be celebrated if not commanded nor celebrated unto Yah?).  Within humble bounds, the tradition may not be a bad one, though I hesitate to call it good.

For myself personally, I will be leaving the final decision up to my headship (my husband; see 1 Corinthians 11:3), whom I'm sure will be deciding under the guidance of our Glorious Abba Father.

Shalom!

Putting It All On The Table...

I've had this blog for several years now, though I've rarely written in it.  I've kept a lot of posts hid on and off and I've started a bajillion drafts I've never finished.  Upon remodeling from the post-teenage angst to the Netzarim I have become,  I guess if anyone wants to proceed past this point, why not let them (yes, I republished said posts)?  Where does this strange person come from?  I graduated high school when I was 17, which started a three year long roller coaster ride of crazy in which we were victim of house fires, burglaries, meth heads, and mean people.  We lost everything we owned just about every time we moved (11 times I think?).  We buried just about everyone we loved - my dad, his aunt, his mom, his great grandma, his grandpa, both of our best friends, and I'm sure I'm leaving someone out but I think the idea is adequately presented.  We had freak accidents of broken jaws, broken ankles, and broken hearts.  A big, human part of me wants to hide all of these things away in my heart's chest of secrets.  But secrets don't make friends.  And the past can't be erased.  If it weren't for where I've been, I wouldn't have arrived to where I am now.  After many sleepless nights of desperate prayers and days, weeks, months, years of wandering through the desert (metaphorically speaking), I've changed.  A lot of people don't like the change, they say I'm crazy, obsessive, foolish, fooled?  But it's better than who I once was.  And I'm not here to please people.  If the Bible presents Paul's past, I can let the world see the few blogged remnants of who I used to be...

I See, Said the Blind Man...

Wherefore I give you to understand, that no man speaking by the Spirit of Yahveh calleth Yahshua accursed: and no man can say that Yahshua is Sovereign but by the Ruach.
1 Corinthians 12:3

In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with Elohim and the Word was Elohim.

-John 1:1

And the word was made flesh...

-John 1:14

Then said they all, Art thou then the Son of Elohim? And he said unto them, Ye say that I am.

-Luke 22:70

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon His shoulder: and he shall be called Wonderful Counselor, The Mighty El, the Everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

-Isaiah 9:6

...and all flesh shall know that I Yahweh thy Saviour and thy Redeemer...

-Isaiah 49:26

I, I Yahweh and beside me no saviour.

-Isaiah 43:11

Our redeemer, Yahweh of hosts His name, the Holy one of Israel.

-Isaiah 47:4

...I will help thee saith Yahweh, and thy redeemer, the Holy One of Israel.

-Isaiah 41:14

[Yahshua speaking] I and Father are one.

-John 10:30

Behold the sovereign Yahveh will come with strong and his arm shall rule for him: behold his reward is with him and his work before him. He shall feed his flock like a Shepherd. He shall gather the lambs with his arm and carry them in his bosom...

-Isaiah 40:10-11

[Yahshua speaking] I am the good Shepherd: the good Shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.

-John 10:11

Hearken unto me, O Jacob and Israel, my called; I the first, I also the last.

-Isaiah 48:12

[Yahshua speaking] I am the Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last.

-Revelation 22:13

Thou shalt have no other elohim before me.

-Exodus 20:3

Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them nor serve them...

-Exodus 20:5

And he said, Master, I believe. And he worshipped Him [Yahshua].

-John 9:38

Words to Live By

Yahweh on my side, I will not fear: what can man do unto me? Psalm 118:6

Better to trust in Yahweh than to put confidence in man. Psalm 118:8

Thou my hiding place and shield: I hope in thy word. Psalm 119:114

Behold, El my salvation, I will trust and not be afraid for Yah Yahweh my strength and song he also is become my salvation. Isaiah 12:2

But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you and persecute you. Matthew 5:44

...neither cast ye your pearls before swine... -Matthew 7:6

O Yahweh, truly I thy servant; I thy servant, the son of thine handmaid: thou hast loosed my bonds. Psalm 116:16

And he said to the woman, thy faith hath saved thee, go in peace. Like 7:50

This the day Yahweh hath made, we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

Oh how I love thy law! It my meditation all the day. Psalm 119:97

Order my steps in your word and let not any iniquity have dominion over me. Deliver me from the oppression of man: so will I keep thy precepts. Make thy face to shine upon thy servant and teach me thy statutes. Psalm 119:133-135

Search me, O El, and know my heart, try me and know my thoughts. And see if wicked way in me and lead me in the way everlasting. Psalm 119:23-24

Set a watch, O Yahweh, before my mouth. Keep the door of my lips. Psalm 141:3

But seek ye first His kingdom and righteousness and all these things shall be added unto you. Therefore do not be anxious for the morrow, for the morrow shall take care of itself. Sufficient unto the day the evil thereof. Matthew 6:33-34

He that receiveth you receiveth me and he that receiveth me receiveth him that sent me. Matthew 10:40

We are the light of the world and a city that is set on a hill cannot be hid. Matthew 5:14

No man when he hath lighted a candle covereth it with a vessel or putteth under a bed but setteth on a candlestick, that they which enter in may see the light. Luke 8:16

Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do do with thy might. Ecclesiastes 9:10

Quench not the Spirit.

Despise not prophesyings.

Prove all things, hold fast that which is good.

Abstain from all appearance of evil. 1 Thessalonians 5:19-22

Now the end of the commandment is charity out of a pure heart and a good conscience and faith unfeigned. 1 Timothy 1:5

Let all your things be done with love. 1 Corinthians 16:14

And let us not be weary in well doing for in due season we shall reap if we faint not. Galatians 6:9

A Glimpse Inside/ DISCLAIMER***

I'm weird and I love it. I also love my life, my cats, my job, my family, my friends, and everything else under the sun that I've been blessed with.

I super duper love my wonderful husband. He means more than the world to me (Matthew 19:6, Genesis 2:24) and I always try to be the best wife (Genesis 2:18) I can possibly be. I honestly try to do whatsoever my hand findeth to do with my might (Ecclesiastes 10:10) and heartily as to the Master and not unto men (Colossians 3:23).

More than anything, I love Yahweh with all my heart, with all my soul, with all my might (Deuteronomy 6:5), with all my strength and understanding (Mark 12:30).

I read portions of my Bible (Genesis 1:1-Revelation 22:21) every night,

I am odd about a few things. I won't say "God" or "Jesus," I use their real names, "Yah" (Psalm 68:4) or "Yahweh/Yahveh" (weh/veh=suffix regarding honor/reverence) and "Yahshua" (shua= to save).

I follow Torah. And not the Jewish Torah, but I live my life in Yah's statutes and judgments (Leviticus 18:5) as outlined in Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. I keep the feasts of Leviticus 23, I keep the clean foods of Leviticus 11, and I sanctify the seventh day Sabbath as directed in Genesis 2:3, Exodus 16:23-30, and Acts 15. And with Christ as my Saviour, I do not believe the law (Torah) died with Him (Matthew 5:18).

I always wear a headcovering because of the command of 1 Corinthians 11:5, the respect of 1 Corinthians 11:8-9, and the witness of Numbers 5:18.

My Facebook is more personal than most environments that most people will find me in. I think about, talk about, and praise Yah in everything, diligently, in all that I do. (Deuteronomy 6:7) And while I try to cast not my pearls before swine (Matthew 7:6), I'm almost always up for discussing The Word.

I don't believe in Xmas (Jeremiah 10), Easter, or Halloween (Deuteronomy 12:30).

I haven't always known all of these things as truths. 1 Thessalonians 5:21 directs, "Prove all things, hold fast that which is good." I apply this to my life as I learn and grow and try to live in the Word, in Yah's will rather than my own.

This is my disclaimer to scrutiny and, if as many before you, you hate me because of it, I'm sorry. Yahshua warned, "If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before you." (John 15:18)

While I judge within my life righteously (John 7:24), I'm not here to judge (Matthew.7:1).

Did I mention that I also love people? :))

#YahisaPainter

#TobaccoIsWacko :))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2CIzbHzKX0A&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Hey Dad

So I had the best dad in the whole wide world who never let me forget to say my prayers and we said it every night.  He taught me respect, hard work, perseverance, baseball, confidence, moderation, how to love, and how to have fun. He had one of the biggest hearts (metaphorically, speaking, of course; his real heart is actually what killed him) and everybody loved Rod. And today he would have been 62. It's hard to believe he's been gone for going on five years now. And although there's so many things I wish I could share with him, I'm very thankful for the things he taught me and the times we had together. Overall I think he'd be proud of the *adult* daughter he never got to see. And he'd still love my James. <3

Yah is a Painter

Like a Boss

I had a friend tell me once, "Mondays suck for everyone, I can't imagine what they are like for a manager..."
Busy, chaotic, hectic, rewarding, fun. Long. You know, it's Monday.
5:05 a.m. Alarm goes off. Snooze.
5:15 a.m. Procrastinate getting up by checking some emails, replying to some texts, catching up on Facebook.  A few last cuddles from Sassy and Jasmine and a huge good morning hug to James...
5:20 a.m. ...and I am out of bed. I set out my clothes and attached my tzit tzits the night before. I turn on Pandora. I brush out my hair (that is getting so long!! :)) and change my clothes.
5:30 a.m. James has made it into the bathroom for his morning cigarette. I'm brushing my teeth when Matt, our maintenance guy texts me to ask when I get to work. I swype "twenty minutes" while I'm slipping on my shoes, overlooking my nametag (thanks, Matt) while I'm collecting my car keys, purse, and water supply (fluoride causes microscopic holes in your brain)...
5:35 a.m. I'm pressing time while I make my final sweep of the house, seeing that everything is well, I'm not forgetting anything...love ya mom, bye kitty kitties, kiss my beloved goodbye.  I lose a moment in my spider-resistant hesitation, then immediately rush past a mammoth web to my car while making a mental note to research how to keep spiders off the porch.
5:59 a.m. I swing into the parking lot and immediately assess: the store stood up well for a busy weekend; moderate morning crowd, mainly regulars, ya know it's Monday. Pick up some plastic by my car and a lottery ticket off the sidewalk, Ornery and I have our regular rushed morning exchange by the newspaper stand and I hold the door open for I-wonder-where-his-wife-went-but-scared-to-ask.
6:01 a.m. Lots of "good mornings" as I rush through, start a pot of coffee, Stephanie's in a good mood and the hotbox looks great. I click "clock-in." I proceed to check my email and read a few notes left from the weekend.
6:20 a.m. My easy reports are printed/ sorted/scanned/pulled, Everything but deposit and charge slips are done and I'm updating pricebook, off to fix the carwash.
8:01 a.m. Matt has to come fix the carwash. I address the notes from the weekend, answer any of Stephanie's questions (they come today, he comes tomorrow, the supplier quit carrying it...) Christi's clocked in starting bone-in. Lottery is counted, my Monday emails are taken care of, paperwork is fully submitted, a bunch of numbers are fully reviewed, my desk is neat and filed, I zoom through a shift change and am pushing Stephanie towards the clock.
12 p.m. Deposit is at the bank, stocked for change for the week. Everyone (Matt, Christi, Bank, Moi) got donuts for breakfast (thanks, Shipley's), carwash is fixed (thanks Matt), store has had a once over and is fronted and faced, hotbox is full (thanks Christi),  cigarettes are counted, and Monster, Coke, Frito Lay, and Coleman have all been checked in, reviewed, revised, and submitted. I scarf down some barbecue chicken (thanks, Christi) for lunch and proceed...
3 p.m. Deli is counted, fountain is counted, invoices are all submitted, trash is done, ice is done, kitchen is in progress, store has had a second once-over (twice-over?), an interviewee is waiting on me at the tables and I'm zooming through my second shift change.
3:15 p.m. Sit down, Hi, my name is Shannon...and Harrison (big truck) pulls in...
7:55 p.m. After surprising my mom and beloved with donuts, I finish blogging, visiting, and procrastinating, turn on Pandora, and start to cook dinner.
I survived another Monday. :))

An Help Meet

I am so blessed with and thankful for my husband. I love how we are always on the same page. I love how I can tell him anything. I love how we can read each other's minds. I love how we see eye to eye.  I love how we always get along. I love how we support and oppose the same things. I couldn't imagine life any other way. Perhaps I could, but the world has taught me very quickly that I would really rather not.
James and I have been together since we were two crazy kids, meeting (and very much falling in love) at the tender ages of 14 and 15.  Both of us came from "broken" homes and neither of us really new what a "healthy" relationship meant. We simply knew that we loved each other and that that was all we needed to take on the world. And take on the world we did, learning some tough lessons along the way.
Fast forward eight long, rewarding years.
Professionally, I'm a free public therapist. In more casual terms, I manage a convenience store (gas station).  I get to hear about births and deaths, weddings and divorces. And lots and lots of fights and break-ups. It turns out, a lot of people cheat. And for every person who cheats, I would venture to say that three more are accused. People openly admit lying to their spouse/significant other.  Verbal abuse is no longer recognized in most of society because derogatory terms like "bitch" and "ass" are casually thrown into dinner conversations.  I hear so often complaints about how unappreciated people are or how they don't get the love and respect they deserve and they are just gonna have to find better.
People have asked me for years how we do it and honestly, it's not that hard...
First and foremost, Yah (Psalm 68:4) is the head of our marriage. Secondly, my husband and I both read our Bibles. We embrace Ephesians 5:22-29, 1 Timothy 2:12, Numbers 30:6-8 in our relationship and we strive to be righteous. We love each other and we trust each other and we do what we do for each other because as husband and wife, that is our duty to each other. We build each other up when society fights so hard to tear everyone down. Quitting is never an option, cleaved together as one flesh, we're in it for the long haul, even it we don't ALWAYS like each other as much as we love. I hear so many women beating up on their husbands for being lazy or vice versa. And some even venture to question why I don't feel the same. My husband is disabled and I work. It doesn't make him lazy or stupid or any less of a man, it just means he can't work so I do. It's not a competition to see who does more, it's a team effort to have the best life that we can - together. It's been great so far. <3 a="" and="" as="" besides="" dull="" free="" i="" job.="" love="" moment="" my="" never="" p="" public="" s="" therapist.="" there="">