2015 is 5 years later...Crazyy!

2015 is 5 years later…Crazyy!

Five years ago (in September), I had a job interview for Sales Manager of Kum & Go.  Foot in the door after dropping out of college 2 years into my business degree since I could no longer afford internet…or, y’know, food…?

I was nineteen and my arms were green and scratched up after a long day of hauling pallet jacks and packing my quota of picture frames into xmas displays to ship out to wally world.  I didn’t even have time to shower before the interview.  The man in the suit and tie asked me, “Where do you see yourself in five years?”

I remember making eye contact with him, they say that’s the right thing to do.  Could he tell how scared I was?

“To be honest, five years ago, I could have given you a definitive answer.  But my life has been turned so upside down this past six months, I’ve learned that life just doesn’t always go according to plan.  I can tell you that I will be five years older and I am quite certain that I will be in a better place than I am today, even if that only means that I am five years wiser.”

Recently I turned on the “facebook memories” option, where it shows your posts over the last five years as a little notification in one place.  By recently, I mean May-ish.  Because that was close enough to July for it to make me nervous but far enough away to give me time to get comfortable with it, to get back in the mind frame before the storm long enough to brace myself for the fall.  And genuinely to look back in awe over how Yah has changed me since what I’ve coined, “the dark times.”

May 20, 2010 – rawr!

June 12, 2010 – KOSHKONONG babyy!

July 9, 2010 – “If my heart quit beating, would it still hurt this much?”  I don’t think this will ever quit hurting.  <#3

A year ago, we were taking pictures of our new $350,000 generator for the newsletter and making plans to add one to the top 8 grossing stores within the next five years.

I am so blessed to be back at Sonic.  While we were stocking cups on my second or third day, I had told a girl I had worked there twice before.  She asked me why I kept leaving. 

“Well, when I was 17, I moved off for college.  And when I was 18, it was right after my dad died and I kinda went crazy for a while.”

And now here I am back, full circle.  Five years.  Five years since we moved out of a meth motel (we stayed to ourselves, but we would hear babies crying and arguments about light bulbs through the walls at night).  But we only moved because a fireman busted a hole through the ceiling right above our room and destroyed everything with flame-killing foam.   Five years since almost being arrested for grand theft auto (it was a big stupid mix up that we were going to laugh about later).  Five years since Shane and Jess died.  

Five years since the mess with mom.

Five years since I chopped all of my hair off.

Five years since James got sick.

2015 is five years later.

And Sonic, with all of its improvements, really hasn’t changed.  But I have.  And so much assurance comes from what Yah is using the experience to teach me about myself.  I’m writing this, up way past what has been my bedtime for roughly the last five years, just enjoying being awake with my beloved.  2015 makes ten years for us. ;)

But for everything else it seems, 2015 is five years later.

I’ve learned that life doesn’t always go according to MY plans.  I am five years older, five years wiser (and wise enough to know that wisdom only comes from The One Who Transcends Time) and I am in such a better place than I was then, full of shalom – wholeness and fullness of peace, walking with Yah, happy wherever I end up. 

Even when I am birthing a wisdom tooth.

“If your presence goes, I don’t wanna stay.  If your presence stays, I don’t wanna go…”

-Shane & Shane, “Without You”

I just couldn’t quit singing that today… :)

Hate This

I would like to start by saying that I have written this under the authority, supervision, and permission of James Powell.

Revision:  We wanted to add the disclaimer that this was written in reference to the world's current definition of the word "hate" as to deeply despise or loathe and likewise acknowledge that scripture teaches us to "hate" unrighteous in terms of literally being "set apart from."

Where is the love nowadays?

I have so many "followers" of Christ on my facebook and yet I get online and every other person is going on and on about how "God hates _____ people" and "you don't love Christ if you don't hate ____."  Have you read what He said at all?

I have heard the argument so much lately that we are only required to love our brother, not sinners.

Matthew 22:39 KJV
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.

Strong's it.  "Neighbour" means nearby person.  Interestingly enough, though, "neighbour" in Leviticus 19:17 does mean brother when referring to whom we should rebuke.

Matthew 5:16 KJV
Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven.

If we are going around condemning everyone and hating everyone always, in what way is that letting our light shine?  In what way is that glorifying our Father in such a way to lead people TO the Father?

Matthew 5:44 KJV
But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;

Where are we told to hate back?

People have been arguing and arguing that Yah only cares about the righteous.  One, when I was unrighteous, it was the proof of Yah's love for me that won me over.

1 John 4:19 KJV
We love him, because he first loved us.

And worse, people argue that Yah totally hates all sinners.  Then I guess you believe he hates you too?

1 John 1:8-10 KJV
If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. [9] If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. [10] If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.

And people argue that Yah destroys sinners so obviously He never loved them.  So if you spank your kid you never loved them?  There are cause and effect rules.  You do this, x happens.  It is not a matter of love or hate in execution of judgment, it just is. 

It is true that no one is justified by the law, we keep the law in obedience because we love Our Master.  But if you are flesh, YOU ARE STILL A SINNER.  Though your righteousness is justified through your remorse/repentance and action to right your wrongs (if possible) and essentially your manning up to what you did. (And I will add for clarification sake that there is an obligation to consciously avoid all acts of sinning AND 1 John 3:4 defines sin as transgression of Torah)

John 14:15 KJV
If ye love me, keep my commandments.

But the Greasy Grace Mainstreamers got one thing right - we aren't perfect and we all deserve death, but Yahshua Messiah gave Himself as the perfect sacrifice to redeem us from that.  Of course, that requires us to repent, turn from our wicked ways, and follow Him lovingly and obediently.

We are supposed to judge righteously

John 7:24 KJV
Judge not according to the appearance, but judge righteous judgment.

Note JUDGE righteous judgment, not EXECUTE righteous judgment.  Judging to avoid sin = righteous.  Judging to make someone suffer because they are a sinner = not within our jurisdiction.  Unless, of course, Yah appointed you as one of His judges in which case that is between you and Yah.

I choose not to do things I know are wrong.  When confronted with the conversation of sin, I do not condone things that I know are wrong.  But I'm not carrying a picket sign that says "God hates fags" either.  Which, by the way, if you aim to have just weights, you need to add every pork, lobster, shrimp, and squirrel eater to that, as well as anyone who reads their daily horoscope.  (Note: I believe all of the above are wrong and take a stand on it all in my daily living).

Need I remind that we are to "walk as He walked" (1 John 2:6) AND HE PRAYED FOR HIS AFFLICTORS WHILE THEY WERE CASTING LOTS FOR HIS CLOTHES!!!

Luke 23:34 KJV
Then said Yahshua, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.

How does that translate into Him saying, "I hate everyone and so should you!!"

I could go on and on and on.  And if you don't like that I'm not parading around a flaming torch and pitchfork after every Muslim, every LGBT, and every other person we may or may not mutually disagree with, you're free to have that opinion (and likewise free to take your peaceful departure).

You're welcome to correct me if wrong, but I missed the part in my Bible that told me to hate hate hate on everyone who is wrong.  In the meantime, I'm going to continue to read scripture and build my relationship with My Glorious Abba Father and meanwhile, I'm going to do all that I can to let my light shine and prayerfully be a beacon for those who have not fully succumbed to the dreadful darkness that is swiftly closing in more now than ever before.

And it is so easy for me to feel like losing hope when I see how torn this world is, as even the rift between believers is an ever-widening chasm...but I take comfort in The Promises that it will all be made right.

Ecclesiastes 5:8 KJV
If thou seest the oppression of the poor, and violent perverting of judgment and justice in a province, marvel not at the matter: for higher than the highest regardeth; and higher than they.

The Warnings Are Clear

I'll tell you what is really powerful to me as I push to be diligent in my walk with Yah...

Adam and Eve walked with Yah in the garden and still disobeyed Him.

Noah got drunk and his son was cursed because of what happened.  (Note his son was also guilty)

Abraham spoke with Yah and Sarah still laughed at Him in disbelief that she would have a child.

Lot got drunk (after being saved from the destruction of Sodom and Gommorah, mind you) and had two children from incest because of it.

Lot's daughters, after witnessing Yah's salvation from the destruction of Sodom and Gommorah, were so afraid of what would happen next (lacking faith in He who saved them from something that I am sure was much more fearful than the wilderness they now faced) that they got their dad drunk and seduced him to "save the human race."

The Israelites lost faith in their journey numerous times...and they saw the parting of the Red Sea!  They gathered and ate the miracle Manna!  They witnessed Yah on the mount and saw how Moses's face shone!  It only took them 40 days and 40 nights alone to make a golden calf!!

How many times through 1 & 2 Samuel and 1 & 2 Kings and 1 & 2 Chronicles did Israel get put into bondage for their transgressions?  In Nehemiah, they had just barely rebuilt Jerusalem and they were already screwing up!

Yah's beloved David fell to temptation of the devil (YHVH rebuke him) and numbered Israel.  He fell to temptation of Bathsheba and adultered and murdered!  (Though he was punished and saved through repentance)

The most wise to ever live, the glorious Solomon, the author of the great and wonderful Book of Proverbs, went word for word in the direction against Deuteronomy 17:16-17 and turned his back on Yah and worshiped idols and sacrificed to other deities in the end of his life.

The apostles walked with Yahshua and not only saw His miracles but PERFORMED miracles themselves!!  And yet Judas betrayed Him.  And Peter denied Him.

After all of these years, humanity has not changed.  So often people use these examples to comfort themselves and others in their shortcomings, but I heed them as warnings.  That if Adam and Eve and Noah and Lot and all of ancient Israel and David and Solomon and Judas and Peter and all of the others in scripture could mess up, SO CAN I.  Someone made a point to me that Yahshua knew who his betrayer was and knew who would deny Him.  He also knows if I should betray Him or deny Him and I pray so often that I won't be one to do so.  Each of these examples in scripture are of people who witnessed more than I may ever witness in my lifetime and they still went the wrong way...and so can I.

So often today we hear preached about Yah's mercy and His forgiveness and He is merciful and He is forgiving.  But He also gave us plenty of warnings.

Matthew 10:22  And ye shall be hated of all for my name's sake, BUT HE THAT ENDURETH TO THE END SHALL BE SAVED

Dear Abba Yah, Heavenly Father and Mighty Blessed King,
As I stand before you as your humble servant, I pray that you might allow me to always remain humble before you and before your creation and that I might always interact with Your creation with love and compassion as you would see fit, Father.  I pray that you will help me to fortify myself in you and in your word and that I might have the courage and the strength to move when you tell me to move.  That I will have the wisdom to quench not Your Ruach, Your Spirit, Father, when you descend upon me to move in my life, Father, and also that I might have the wisdom and the courage to acknowledge and right my own wrongs, Father.  I also pray that I may never deny you, that I never turn away from you, that I never disappoint you, Father.  And I know that You know if I will and if I am one that endureth not to the end for whatever reason I do not understand, I am sorry for hurting You.  Please help me to always continue in Your Paths, Father, in Your Will and in Your Way and please help me to silence and deny my fleshly desires that interfere with my following You.  Please never let me lose sight of who You are, the Creator of all things, the One who is above and in charge of all things, the Judge of all things.  Please don't ever let my faith falter in Your strength, Yah, and Your infinite wisdom, Yah, and in your promise to eventually right all wrongs.  I love You, Father, I praise You, Father, I worship You and You alone, Father.  In Yahshua's Beautiful, Merciful, Saving, Gracious, Glorious, Holy Name I pray, HalaluYah!

#StampOutStigma

Over the course of two years, we moved about 11 times.  Our home was broken into twice, we lost most of everything we owned about 8 times.  We lost (they died) my dad, his mom, our best friends/roommates/bandmates, and about 4 others. We were homeless 3 times.

January 2011
My husband was diagnosed with Paranoid Schizophrenia, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), and Panic Disorder.

Most of our friends were scared of these big words and abandoned us.  If memory serves me, one even said that "James just needs to pray harder" and that was obviously why he was sick.  And that really hurt my husband (and REALLY upset me).  I wonder how many diabetics, cancer victims, anemics, or Alzheimer's patients are abandoned by friends and family and then accused of "not being a good enough Christian?"

To this day, I don't know that I have ever met another with a bigger heart than my husband's and he passionately walks in obedience to Yah's word and he is a better husband than I could ever have asked for.

And he still has paranoid schizophrenia, PTSD, and panic disorder.  And he has good days and he has bad days, just like everyone else.

People fear what they don't understand, but the things they say in the process HURT people who are (often) already hurting.

#StampOutStigma

2nd Commandment

Exodus 20:4-6 KJV
Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of that is in heaven above, or that in the earth beneath, or that in the water under the earth: [5] Thou shalt not bow down thyself to them, nor serve them: for I Yahveh Elohim a jealous El, visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children unto the third and fourth generation of them that hate me; [6] And shewing mercy unto thousands of them that love me, and keep my commandments.

Leviticus 26:1 KJV
Ye shall make you no idols nor graven image, neither rear you up a standing image, neither shall ye set up image of stone in your land, to bow down unto it: for I Yahveh Elohim.

Deuteronomy 4:16-19 KJV
Lest ye corrupt, and make you a graven image, the similitude of any figure, the likeness of male or female, [17] The likeness of any beast that on the earth, the likeness of any winged fowl that flieth in the air, [18] The likeness of any thing that creepeth on the ground, the likeness of any fish that in the waters beneath the earth: [19] And lest thou lift up thine eyes unto heaven, and when thou seest the sun, and the moon, and the stars, all the host of heaven, shouldest be driven to worship them, and serve them, which the Yahveh thy Elohim hath divided unto all nations under the whole heaven.

Froward Lips and Idle Words

Proverbs 4:24 KJV
Put away from thee a froward mouth, and perverse lips put far from thee.

Perverse - Strong's 3891 - "lazuth"; devious
Froward - Strong's 6143 - "iqqeshuth"; deceitful

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Proverbs 10:32 KJV
The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable: but the mouth of the wicked frowardness.

Frowardness - Strong's 8419 - "taphukah"; perverse thing

According to Google, synonyms of "perverse" include contrary, obstructive, and wrong. An older definition traces back to the Latin pervertere, later perversus meaning "turned around" and later became, in Late Middle English, "perverse," meaning "turned away from what is right or good."

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Matthew 12:36 KJV
(Yahshua speaking)
But I say unto you, That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.

Idle - Strong's 692 - "argos";  lazy, thoughtless, unprofitable, injurious

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So basically don't be devious, deceitful, contrary, obstructive, wrong, lazy, thoughtless, unprofitable, or injurious in speech.

That's not too hard, right?

It requires lots and lots of diligence and we are warned numerous times throughout scripture to beware our mouths and tongues as they are very difficult to control.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome to my life's most difficult challenge.  Let me put it to you straight, I've always been a talker.  (And just to clarify, even a man of few words may have a problem with this depending on what few words he chooses).

--

As a child, my mom would spank me pretty fearfully (I wasn't abused as a child, but praise Yah I was raised with discipline!) IF SHE CAUGHT ME LYING.  I could get away with a lot of other things, but a lie, my dear...the Bible is pretty clear about.

As an adolescent, I had learned how to speak manipulatively - that is, without lying but with the intention to mislead.  And it's so easy to do!  Diligence and lots and lots and lots of self-discipline has helped me improve tremendously in this respect, though no man is perfect.  I now try to correct the situation when I come across a pitfall.  I make myself make it right and write it off as necessary humbling, because it isn't always easy to admit I messed up.  It's not easy to admit to myself, let alone coming clean to Yah and whatever person was involved. 

--

As a small child, I made a kid cry once.  With something I said.  As a teenager, I tried to make people cry (if I didn't like them, of course and sometimes when I was feeling contrary).  Even before coming to faith and truth, this was one of the first to go for me.  Though anger can still sometimes be difficult to deal with, it didn't take a degree in rocket science to see what kind of destruction those kinds of words reaped - lost friendships, lost jobs, even divorces! (Praise Yah I never really took it past the losing a friend part, though a job may have hurt less long term)

--

And then there is possibly the most harmful harmless of all - the idle word.  Yes, that sneaky little bugger that slips from my mouth when trying to make conversation or fill awkward silences.  The one that has no purpose but to fill gaps that aren't necessarily in need of being filled.  Or perhaps to make up for not paying attention - like when another poor, word-afflicted soul took too long to tell me about something (maybe I was waiting on customers when they were talking?) and I absentmindedly reply with a "cool" or "oh yeah," maybe "totally?"  And maybe I totally just second witnessed something that I KNOW BETTER but wasn't paying attention.  We are taught pretty young that if you can't keep up, you ought to be ashamed.  "Wing it and no one will ever know," the world feeds our egos to protect our pride.  Or maybe I totally just oh yeahed someone into a divorce, or suicide, or agnosticism.  I may never know, but Yah knows.

Recently, I experienced what I believe Yah used to teach me a valuable lesson.  To protect the identity of others, this is a little vague but prayerfully the point remains intact...

I was talking to a friend about something I was going to fix the right way.  The friend tried to talk me out of it, said it was easier to shortcut with a different method.  But that method was expensive, dangerous, and not guaranteed to work.   They argued that it was hard work my way.  (I wouldn't deem it hard, though certainly not easy per se).  They said I'd get my hands dirty.  (I had gloves and antibacterial soap).  Finally, in all confident surety they exclaimed, "But you'll have to ______ in order to do it and you could break it in the process!" 

Aha, dear friend, this is something I have done before and _____ is not required.  I looked at that friend a little differently, they still aren't sure that they spoke a lie, admitting only that I might be right.  I looked at myself differently.  How many times have I done the same thing?  I may never know.  Well, until it is time for me to account for those idle words (Matthew 12:36).

What's worse, what does this do to my witness?  If I speak wrongly about something with surety, how does anyone know they can believe me when The Ruach (Spirit) uses me to speak right?  How can an acquaintance even discern for sure that I have influence from The Ruach if I've been known to lie?

I've heard it argued that it isn't a lie if you didn't know it was wrong at the time.  But if I'm speaking about something I have no knowledge or authority on, KNOWING I have no knowledge or authority, aren't I lying simply in action by speaking as though I do?

Deep stuff. 
I doubt that anyone can ever get it right (Yahshua being The Only Obvious Beautiful Glorious Exception).  But I also doubt that I will be thinking much of anyone else when Our Wonderful Creator, Mighty In Power asks me, trembling before Him, to explain myself.

Paul vs. Clean Foods?

Shabbat Shalom!  (May the wholeness and fullness of Yah's/"The Lord's" peace be with you on the Sabbath!)

So I went home and I spoke with my husband about our conversation.  We prayed about it and objectively read the passage you shared (1 Corinthians 10:23-31) with open hearts and open minds.  

I'm sorry, but I still disagree that Paul ever spoke against clean foods as established in Leviticus 11.

Here is our interpretation of the passage you shared, it's kind of hard to follow, but I pray that you are able to follow our train of thought on this passage.

____

1 Corinthians 10:23  -  All things are lawful for me...

we believe this to correspond with

Galatians 5:18, 22-23  -  (18) But if ye are led by the Spirit, ye are not under the law... (22)BUT the fruit of the Spirit is <<love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, (23) meekness, temperance>> AGAINST SUCH, there is no law

So going back to1 Corinthians 10:23  All things are lawful for me... because he is led by the Spirit.
Therefore he keeps the law without having to be told to, or does what is right without it being a requirement.  So it isn't really a law, but "instruction," coincidentally a more accurate definition of the scriptural word "law" or "Torah."

Then 1 Corinthians 10:27  -  if any of them that believe not bid you...

[If a nonbeliever feeds you in their home or land]

1 Corinthians 10:27 - ...whatsoever is set before you, eat, asking no question for conscience sake...

-》I've heard the interpretation by a (now former) Torah keeper that this means you can't or shouldn't ask if an unclean ingredient (Leviticus 11) was used

BUT verse 28 establishes that this was actually in reference to asking whether or not it died as a sacrifice to an idol or a false deity.   (Ex: Muslim butchers pray to their "god" over all of their meat, but you don't have to know your butcher's religion in order for you to righteously shop with him)

So 1 Corinthians 10:28 - BUT if any man say unto you, this is offered unto idols...

[So it's not necessary to ask, but once the information has been volunteered THEN]

1 Corinthians 10:28 (continued) ...eat not for his sake

[Don't encourage what you know to be wicked - their sacrificing to idols because they may use your actions of partaking after the knowledge has been disclosed to justify their own involvement with idols (see also 1 Corinthians 8:10-13 and 1 Corinthians 10:33) This also builds off of the concept in Torah of "second-witnessing" something and the concept of inadvertently agreeing with something by not striking it down]

But we know that

1 Corinthians 8:4. - As concerning therefore the eating of those things that are offered in sacrifice unto idols, we know that an idol is nothing in the world and that none other elohim/god but ONE

So even if it turns out your butcher was Muslim,

As long as you [in eating and drinking and all that ye do]

1 Corinthians 10:31 - do all to the glory of Elohim ("God")

Then your foot erreth not.

Prayer for All - Bless First Fruit

Body

"Body"
By me and James Powell

Maybe if I couldn't read
I wouldn't fill my head with so many useless things
But T.V. destroys many masses
And reading is not required
To be fluoridically placid while your brain is getting blasted
By the food you eat

But perhaps if I WERE simple
My brain should not devise the things that eat away inside
That keep me up at night
But would colors be so bright?
As bright as black and white?
Besides
From your words your heart will arise

Sometimes I wish I stuttered
So maybe my words would come out too slow for my tongue to betray me
But Moses's crime was something he said
(You hear) every idle word
Let the dead bury their dead

And sometimes I feel like giving less than what I take
And I pray that maybe my feet should break
So I don't have to worry where they will take me, for true
They would never carry me away from you

And these marks on my skin denote where I've been
My Father hated them, even back then
I would cut them off if it weren't a sin
(But I answered the call)
Come as you are and change from within
And always try and try and try and try and try and try again

Does doctrine matter?

John 14:15 KJV
If ye love me, keep my commandments.

Deuteronomy 6:5 KJV
And thou shalt love Yahveh thy Elohim with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might.

Mark 12:30 KJV
And thou shalt love Yahveh thy Elohim with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.

I believe salvation is a heart issue and believe that I am in no position to make a judgment on what does or does not determine someone's fate.

Philippians 2:12 KJV
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

Yahshua ("Jesus") warned Capernaum that their judgment would be more harsh than that of Sodom when they took not heed to His mighty works (Matthew 11:23-24), further supporting that judgment and salvation are more heart than doctinal, though, going back to John 14:15, if you truly love Him, you will keep His commandments.  And, knowing what I know, I know I would be at risk of judgment should I turn my back on truth. (Proverbs 28:9)  And, likewise, scripture illustrates that we will seek understanding of the commandments if we truly love Him and are worthy of Him

  Matthew 10:37-38 KJV
He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. [38] And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.

And it is promised that if we seek, we shall find.  (Jeremiah 29:13, Matthew 7:7)

So, in a roundabout conclusion as an answer to your question, I believe you must love Him to be saved and if you love Him, you will seek the true doctrine, His commandments as He intends for them to be kept according to His word, and, since you love Him, He will reveal those truths to you.  So yes, doctrine matters.

However, Yah tries the reins of our hearts (Jeremiah 11:20), so if you get knocked out of the race before you hit the finish line, Yah knows how fast and hard you actually ran. 

Walk This Way

So close yet so far away...

Firstly,  I am realizing that the "Torah keepers" you have interacted with are PROBABLY the same ones I have blocked for their ridiculousness as they fight and squabble over every letter of the law worse than rabbinical priests who formed the very MAN-made traditions that Yahshua rebuked the Pharisees for.

Mark 7:13 KJV
Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye.

Just like in Christianity, there are many different sects, or groups that believe loosely the same but have different interpretations of different things and some are more radical than others.   All I ask is that you please read what I have to say with an open heart.  If your relationship with Yah is as secure as you obviously feel that it is, then please just read what I have to say and then form your response, rather than reading TO respond as we as a society have unfortunately been trained in today's modern world.

My beliefs as a Torah Keeper are considered radical among most Torah keepers because I do nothing from man's tradition, constantly proving all things (by the word) and holding fast that which is good.  (1 Thessalonians 5:21)

I don't believe you are going to hell because you don't keep the feasts or Sabbath.  Scripture says let every man work out his own salvation with fear and trembling.  (Philippians 2:12)  But Torah also is specifically defined in Deuteronomy 5:33 "so that it may be well with you."

I am sure you are familiar with the concept of your body as a temple?  (1 Corinthians 3:16-17)  Have you ever looked into the actual health implications of the food Yah had deemed unclean?  (Leviticus 11)  They have more toxins, are carriers of more diseases, and are, in general, fattier than clean foods.  And for me, I don't go by what Jewish rabbis call clean because sometimes they call vitamin D3 clean because it doesn't look like pig cells under a microscope once it has been isolated.  Look at the ingredients in your milk, cheese, or yogurt next time you go by the fridge.  Isn't it interesting that UNCLEAN food would be put in the majority of the food supply in the end times?  And everyone argues Peter's dream (Acts 10) but there is a separation made by the key word COMMON (another Jewish tradition) in that passage.

Sabbath, Feasts, working with just weights, clean foods, and much, much more are all for one of three purposes (and often all three) - Loving Yah, Loving your neighbor, and being a good steward of the temple you were given.

Do you know why I love New Moons and Sabbaths and Feasts? Because they are days SET APART for Yah, the literal meaning of Holy.  Yes, I plan my meals and work around those days but if circumstances arise that I am unable, I would cook on Sabbath before I would let my family starve.  Why don't I want to cook on those days? Because it takes away from Yah.  Because we spend the whole day, from sundown to sundown, in awe of His Majesty, in Praise to the King, in study of His word and mediation on His will. 

Yah temporarily did away with the Levitical priesthood early on in the scripture following Torah (to specify, Genesis, Exodus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy) because of perversions the people had done.  Also, I am no judge appointed by Yah therefore there are no stonings among our congregation.  Yahshua has assured us that He will exact judgement upon His return.

And last but not least, the names.  I don't care if you call Him Yah or God, I care that you love Him.  Yahshua or Jesus, we are still talking about the same beautiful Saviour that died for our sin, or transgressions of the law (1 John 3:4).  I say Yah because of Psalm 68:4 (please take in remembrance thag the letter J is only roughly 400 years old) and also the tetragrammaton (YHVH) that was replaced by LORD and GOD in your Bible.  I say Yah because it is His name and scripture teaches us to revere His name.  (Proverbs 18:10)  I say Yahshua because I believe that is what His mother called Him, "shua" loosely translating to "savior."  What name could be more beautiful or befitting?  Elohim essentially means "Almighty One"  (Hebrew words are actually very complex and would take me all day to fully define) and I use it because I feel like "God" with a capital G just isn't powerful enough, especially in a society riddled with "OMG!!" as a language staple.

And yes, you are correct that Passover (and all other feasts, in fact) directly correlate with the life, death, resurrection, and return of Yahshua.

So, long story short, I don't know (nor am I sure that it matters) how the keeping or not keeping of Torah effects your salvation.  I know that it effects your quality of life in a way that I never could have imagined before I chose to walk this way.  Yes, I gave up bacon and shrimp, Friday nights and Saturdays, and even lost a $45,000 salary because of it, but Yah has blessed me more abundantly than I could ever give Him credit or praise for.

Why do I do it?
Because I love Him.  Because He first loved us.  (1 John 4:19)  Condemn it if you will, but you don't know what you're missing.

***Foundation***

***Foundation***

It is probably different for different hair types (would love input from others!!), but the foundation to a covering is very important for three reasons:

1. It is the foundation of the covering.
2. It is in direct contact with your hair.
3. It protects your hair

You want soft and sturdy.  You do not want it to pull your hair in any way that is uncomfortable or damaging to the hair.  Some women use caps, I prefer a bandanna and a headband.  The headband protects flyaways from getting tangled in the actual cover.  Remember the goal is to cover, NOT damage your hair.

I typically just wear my hair in a LOOSE bun usually (I recommend starting with a bun ball when you are new to wrapping, it made it easier for me).  Alternate the position every so often so as not to put too much strain on your hair.

**Key Concepts**

**Key Concepts**

Every woman will likely have a different take on it, I am sure, but this is what I have learned (so far).

1.  Weight and balance are everything.  Think about the hairstyles that used to work for you before you covered.  What was your go to, "thrown up," sweat pant do?  Maybe you only turned to it when your kids were sick or when you were cooking or cleaning, but COMFORT IS KEY.  You need to base the weight distribution of the headcovering off of the weight distribution of that style.  As you get better, you can use other styles for models.  I always preferred a midway bun on the back of my head, a bun on top center, or a side-skewed bun and you will see that I typically have my up do in the same place. If ever a covering is not comfortable (and by that, I mean outside of constantly noticing your head is now different the first few times ya do it), then that particular covering is not right for you.  You will find your gravity spot (I don't know if that's even a real phrase but it sounds befitting of what I'm trying to stay).  Do not put all of the weight on your actual hair in any way that is uncomfortable (and if you have thin hair, not hardly at all).  Covering actually should benefit your hair if done right, NOT hurt it.

2.  It's just like anything else you do with your hands - practice and muscle memory are CRITICAL.  And that means exactly what it sounds like - you have to practice working the scarves or material you choose to use - I actually have a skirt turned headcovering (well, almost ;)  My brother, when teaching me how to drive, told me that you have to know the limitations (and power) of your vehicle.  Same concept applies here.  Practice tying your scarves (I recommend starting with just one, will elaborate in another installment) in knots.  Practice covering your head with it.  Fold it over and lay it over your head.  Know it's thickness and lengths and build the muscle memory in your hands because it will be CRUCIAL to making secure headcoverings.

3.  YOU CANNOT FORCE IT.  This is, perhaps, more accurately key concept 2.5 but it's a very important lesson I learned early on and it seems so simple (yet is probably the simplest mistake to make). And that is that the scarf will not bend beyond it's limitation.  It will not stretch longer than it is.  It will not change it's nature even when it evolves into a more majestic form.  This is especially important when tying knots to secure the covering.  I always wanted to position the knot in a certain spot (say, behind and slightly below my left ear) and then tie it.  However, the knot is the priority, the correct order should be tie and then position (you will get better at tying it so that it CAN be positioned with when you develop that muscle memory).

4. Learn a basic knot and stick with it.  Once you are SO used to that one, expand on it.  As cool as it would be, I'm sure even Wrapunzel didn't wake up wrapping all of her awesome coverings after one night.  Keep It Simple.

5.  You're not always gonna succeed.  I cover in stages - I try something new around the house until I am comfortable with it.  Sometimes - SOMETIMES they fall down.  Or even *gasp* OFF!! Make sure you have a strong foundation (will discuss in another installment) and always carry an extra covering with you if you are like me and can't stand to be uncovered.  I can honestly say (Praise Yah!) I have never actually come uncovered in public, you will almost always have plenty of warning that the headcovering has begun to slip (or come undone).  But don't let failure get you down, just keep reminding yourself that the experience helped you build up your awesome muscle memory!  ;)

For my birthday...

Below is something I wrote about birthdays back in November of 2013.

My husband, my loving headship and partner in Yah (we are one flesh ...Gen 2:24), has since decided that they are a day for Thanksgiving- rejoicing in another year of life, a time for reflection on a year of growth, a loving occasion. An anniversary. :)

This upcoming Saturday (or, more accurately, upcoming Sabbath), Feb 21, is my 24th birthday.  I am three work days, a New Moon (Feb 20), and a sundown (beginning of a new day) away from 24 years since I first exited the womb.

So I'm not going to ask you not to (though I most certainly won't be offended nor love you any less if you don't :) wish me a happy birthday, or, more accurately, a blessed birth anniversary - a sincerest wish that I may have startled you with on your special day :) (sorry if I missed you!).

BUT

I want one thing for my birthday and I am literally begging each and every one of you to do this please because I love you and nothing would make me happier:
Remember Yah's Sabbath. 

Perhaps Praise Him that from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday, I will spend the [marker for entering into what in reality will be my 25th year with breath], my birthday, resting in Yah, during His appointed time.

It's okay if you have prior obligations that day,

read Exodus 20:1-20 and refresh yourself on the Ten Commandments. 

Or

read Genesis 1-2 and give remembrance to the beginning.

Or

maybe don't read anything at all, but find a moment to Praise Him for something
...to rejoice in the day that Yah will have made and be glad in it.

Or

Just be thankful that we have been blessed with another day of precious life :)

-----

11/24/13

"I Hope the Evil Spirits Leave You Alone on The Anniversary of Your Day of Birth!!"

...Whew!  That was a long one!!  If you're wondering where it came from, let me present you with the abbreviated form..."Happy Birthday!!"  I've recently discovered the not so kosher origins of Xmas, Valentine's Day, the word "church"...it only made sense that I would research birthdays next?  (And I'm sure boredom or the Ruach (preferably) will lead me to portray a synopsis of the aforementioned in due time.)

So let's start with the examples that Scripture has given us...

1. The actual dates of birth are not recorded for ANYONE IN THE BIBLE.
2.  No where does the Bible instruct us not to celebrate birthdays...

"A good name is better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one's birth."  - Ecclesiastes 7:1

...but we aren't exactly instructed to celebrate, either...

"And it came to pass the third day, Pharaoh's birthday, that he made a feast unto all his servants:  and he lifted up the head of the chief butler and of the chief baker among his servants.  And he restored the chief butler unto his butlership again; and he gave the cup into Pharaoh's hand:  But he hanged the chief baker:  as Joseph had interpreted to them."  - Genesis 40:20-22

...one man freed, one man slain, go on...

"But when Herod's birthday was kept, the daughter of Herodias danced before them, and pleased Herod.  Whereupon he promised with an oath to give her whatsoever she would ask.  And she, being before instructed of her mother, said, Give me here John the Baptist's head in a platter.  And the king was sorry:  nevertheless, for the oath's sake, and them which sat with him at meat, he commanded to be given.  And he sent, and beheaded John in the prison."  -Matthew 14:6-10

...getting worse...

"And his sons feasted houses, every one his day; and send and called for their three sisters to eat and to drink with them.  And it was so, when the days of feasting were gone about, that Job sent and sanctified them, and rose up early in the morning, and offered burnt offerings to the number of them all:  for Job said, It may be that my sons have sinned, and cursed Elohim in their hearts. Thus did Job continually."  - Job 1:4-5

...this is the last POTENTIAL example of birthdays that I was able to find in scripture.  It does not specify why Job's sons were feasting, but "every one his day" kinda makes it sound birthday-esque.  Job did not think their feasts were righteous and made offerings for them.  Coincidentally, all of his sons died later in the book, but since just about anyone who knew Job died in the book, I'm not really using that as weight in this specific argument.

"Let the day perish wherein I was born, and the night it was said, There is a man child conceived." - Job 3:3

"Cursed the day wherein I was born:  let not the day wherein my mother bare me be blessed."  - Jeremiah 20:14

...While I was unable to find any verses praising a day of birth (aside from the birth of Christ, but that cannot be used in this argument because he was also a KING which leads to the discussion of other traditions and customs far from this one), Jeremiah and Job both cursed the days they were born.

Now let's look at some different facts about birthdays:

-It was difficult for people to celebrate birthdays in ancient times because there was not a calendar with which they could track dates from year to year.  With the emergence of said calendar, birthdays, astrology (Isaiah 47:13 warns against), and horoscopes (Leviticus 20:6 warns against) were born almost immediately.

-The first birthdays celebrated were those of Pagan gods, kings, and deitized kings (apollo, artemis, zeus, Pharaoh, Herod, Nimrod).

-Early Christian (a made up word, btw but that is also an a discussion for another day) theologists condemned birthdays in the 1st and 2nd centuries A.D. both because of the custom's pagan heritage and because it promoted self-indulgence, self-promotion, and the lifting up of a person rather than Yah.

- It was not until Romans and Greeks began integrating into the Catholic church that they became acceptable customs (Interestingly enough, this is also how the Sabbath got changed to Sunday and we began celebrating Xmas, Easter, and Halloween).

-The birthday cake was originally round in honor of the sun/moon and/or Artemis/Apollo (Pagan deities).

-Not only did candles further make the cake resemble the sun and moon, but they were believed to carry prayers (origin of the birthday wish) to the heavens and to the gods.

-People believed that you were more susceptible to interventions of evil spirits on your birthday and it was believed that cheer was the best deterrent.  So they would gather around the birthday boy/girl (origin of the birthday party), give them gifts to make them happier (origin of the gift giving), and wish them cheer (Happy Birthday!!) all in the name of fighting off said evil spirits.

SOOOO...In conclusion:

I could probably provide a valid argument against the celebration of birthdays, whereas it's more difficult to argue for them.  Though it is not condemned scripturally nor does it come from a specific deity-celebration (see: Lupercalia, i.e. Valentine's Day) nor is it a celebration unto Yah (which leads us back to the question, should it be celebrated if not commanded nor celebrated unto Yah?).  Within humble bounds, the tradition may not be a bad one, though I hesitate to call it good.

For myself personally, I will be leaving the final decision up to my headship (my husband; see 1 Corinthians 11:3), whom I'm sure will be deciding under the guidance of our Glorious Abba Father.

Shalom!

Feminism by Definition

Define:feminism (phem-ih-nizm) n. 1. An antiChrist movement used to brainwash otherwise good wives, mothers, and women everywhere.   2.  A widespread false belief that fulfilling one's role deserves some kind of reward beside the more subtle fruit of the labour of love 3. An alternate agenda sugar coated to hide the fact that it only exists to suppress the natural woman, to go against nature, to ruin families and to kill babies  4. A dangerous way of thinking promoted by celebrities and the media to move women farther away from the Bible and to make false gods of themselves;  see also "wickedness," "brainwashing," "charade," and "herd mentality"

Clean Food For Thought

I've talked to so many different people about clean foods (Leviticus 11) and have heard repeatedly, "But   ___insert_unclean_food_here___   tastes so good!"

Turkey is very cheap.  I don't know how it compares to pork because I usually distractedly rush past that section when I am shopping but considering a pound of ground turkey is ONE THIRD the cost of a pound of hamburger and about ONE FIFTH the cost of the fancier "ground beef," I feel comfortable calling it "affordable."

I just made an AMAZING pizza out of a cheese Digorno with turkey pepperoni and turkey sausage.  I had to pepper the sausage and mist the pepperoni with olive oil (Turkey is dryer than the P word).  But it came out better than I remember.

If you crisp turkey bacon in the oven (mist with olive oil when rotating), it tastes JUST LIKE BACON.

I make egg rolls with ground turkey and when I add the tiniest bit of sriracha and sweet chili sauce to my cream cheese wontons, crab rangoons become a distant memory.

Pork Chops, Smork Chops.  I cooked so many of those damned (literally) things as a Gentile (and no, the past tense of that statement does not immediately deem me Jewish)... All I need now is a chicken thigh filet or a good juicy TURKEY tenderloin and I can easily season a fry that will leave your mouth equally as pleased as your stomach and digestive system.

Beef polka kielbasa.  Beef hot dogs.  Angus beef hot dogs. YUMMMM Add some vegetarian baked beans for a familiar twist.

I may work a little harder for my food, but it pleases The Most Holy One and I'm ingesting LITERALLY 100+ less toxins (and who knows how much less fat, cholesterol, and even sodium) than when I ate unclean.  Pork carries an estimated 100 viruses a year over from China (Google it), IMMEDIATELY making following the Bible 100% more effective than any one vaccine...

Unbeknownst to most of today's society,  sacrifices of the Old Testament also often resulted in cooked meat for food (not too much unlike what you probably had for dinner tonight) for the congregation or for the priest and/or his family that he couldn't work to provide for because he spent all of HIS (interesting sidenote) time being a priest for Yah.  A search of my phone's Bible of "for a sweet savour" in conjunction with the scent of sacrifices returned 27 results UNTO Yahveh.  

When I would cook bacon or BBQ at my old job,  I couldn't help but think of Aaron's sons in Leviticus 10:1-3 as the thick, greasy aroma would fill the air.

Just a little food for thought. ;)

No Miracles

My mom used to tell me, "Coincidence is God acting anonymously."

He is not anonymous, there is no coincidence.  Though, coincidentally, calling Yah (YHVH, Yahweh, the Lord, THE Almighty, Our Father Who Art) Generic God with a capital G and crediting His blessings to coincidence do render Him somewhat anonymous in the world today.

"I was really lucky to find money in the dryer."  No, I was blessed.

"Look at those beautiful fall leaves, I love Mother Nature."  There is no mother nature, Our Father is the "Father of Lights" (James/Yakov 1:17).  We are taught as children that the actual definition of color is, according to Merriam Webster, "a phenomenon of light."  Yahveh Elohim (Almighty) FATHERED the color of the autumn leaves and PUT US HERE TO SEE IT.  How do you think He feels when we thank "Mother Nature"?

COINCIDENTALLY that other thing more commonly attributed to "Mother Nature"?  Yah CREATED it so we could bring forth real live beautiful little people from our bodies that are little more than dust...

"Thank goodness I didn't get pulled over when I didn't have my wallet!" HalaluYah!

"Thank Heavens. " Thank the Creator of the Heavens.

From childhood, we're taught to look to Horoscopes (I'm a Pisces), to Numbers (lucky #7 which also COINCIDENTALLY is the number of completion in scripture....), Santa Claus, and Dear Abbey for direction, luck, answers, and rewards.

The best thing I've ever done in life is ditch all of the self-help books in exchange for THE BOOK (The King James Bible).  To no longer leave my life to chance or "the hand I've been dealt," but to learn to give thanks in everything (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

I stopped to see the miracles.