My Old Life

Okay, I guess we're going two for two on the depressing posts tonight.  (I apologize if there really is anyone actually reading this).  I miss them.  I miss them soooo much is fucking hurts.  I miss them so much that I said f**k.  It hurts that bad.  It hurts so bad that I don't think all of the alcohol in the world could numb the pain.  Some days, it hurts more than others.  And today, it really hurts.  It hurts because I need them, because I miss them, because I love them.  And it hurts because I see how much it still hurts everyone else.  There's not a single person from my old life that doesn't still hurt...and I can see it.  We've all gone our separate ways.  We've all changed.  You can't lose people that awesome and not change.  Since they died, I've met people that knew them and without even having known these people before, I can tell that they changed.  Shane and Jess were so truly amazing you couldn't not change after that day.  Two of the brightest lights on this planet went out that day.  I'm not old, but I'm tired.  And not in the sense that I can go to sleep and wake up and everything will be all better.  I'm tired.  I'm tainted.  But life goes on.

Rest in Peace...