Amidst the Thorns

Much of what I write is reflections of my past.  On the night my life changed forever, a close friend talked about taking down the rearview mirror, that it was not Yah's intention for us to dwell.  But I don't dwell.  I reflect.  I say I don't dwell because I don't look back and grow forlorn about a past that I cannot change.    Barlow Girl sings about the deep, deep reassurance that Yah has placed in their life.  That is also true of my life.  And every time I reflect, that reassurance grows stronger as I watch the pieces align, as I become acutely aware of Yah's presence, protection, intervention, and guidance throughout my life even when I felt alone; even when I was dirty and should have been left out.

I had the best parents in the whole wide world and I told them so every night.  Even if they did not always lead by example, they taught me right from wrong.  They taught me to research, to seek truth, to always find out for myself.  They shared their vast life lessons and instilled in me the values of hard work and honesty.  They taught me accountability.  And we said our prayers every night.  And they had a great many flaws, blame for which I hold to them not.  They loved me with all they were.  How can you find fault in that?

I remember as a child swinging on the swing in my front yard, rays of light chasing away the shadows cast by the trees.  I would sing my heart out and was certain that I could hear angels singing with me.   And there was this warm feeling of peace,  a magic and my soul that words cannot explain.  And in my years of darkness, I yearned for that back.  

But for as long as I was stubborn and rebellious with a fat heart, the truth remained so distant and foreign.  It remained as simply a memory of a feeling that my gluttonous heart could not quite grasp.

Adam and Eve were the first victims of peer pressure.

"A Thousand Steps" -Newsong

"Surrender" -Barlow Girl