Dear Mr. Cigarette

I love you very much.  We've been inseparable for years and you've been by my side through a lot.  But I think it's time we end this affair we've been having.  You see, you take my breath away.  No, really, quite literally.  I avoid sports because of you.  And, well, you see, I spend a LOT of my money on you...and you get me kicked out of places.  You make me miss movies, parts of concerts, and even time with my other friends.  You make me spazz out when we're not together...and sometimes you make me feel dirty when we are.  You ruin my clothes, my car, and just about anything else you can get your hot little hands on.  Sometimes I feel like I can't live without you, when really I can't live with you.  Again, quite literally.  And that's the problem.  See, you kinda helped kill my dad (for the record, I really miss him) and now you're killing me.  So why the hell are you still my friend?

Bittersweet Goodbyes,
Shannon

Above is a short piece I wrote during one of my many quit attempts.  I loved my cigarettes.  As terrible as it may sound, jumping off of a cliff was less intimidating than giving up my precious nicotine.  Quitting food was more appealing.  And no threat of cancer or stroke was enough to make me give it up.  And then I started to read my Bible and get to know Yah.

Matthew 6:24 KJV

[24] No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon.

This particular verse struck home.  I could give up my job for Yah.  My home, my family, my life.  But my cigarettes?  That might be more like Esau's bowl of soup. (Genesis 25:30-34). And that's when I realized it was time to quit.  

It was probably one of the hardest things I've ever done in my life.  But I breathe better.  I smell better.  I see better.  I have more energy.  And my bond is loosed. 

And tomorrow marks 365 days of freedom!! :)